Totes Cray Cray

Totes is a colonel in the russian army. He is originally from Ukraine but ran away from his parents because they sent him to school! He claims he fought in the conquering of Berlin in 1945. However he was in fact washing dishes in army camp 112 miles away. He became a colonel and managed to defeat a group of aliens (well I say a group there was only one!) He married Irena Cuckoo and was involved in the invasion of Boldovia. Unfortunately he died of a heart attack when his assistant jumped out on him. He was also a member of the Pony club.